wisdom

One of my friends posted the following on his facebook page.  I just wanted to add it here so I can go back to look at it again from time to time.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! MORAL : Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens. 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less from people but more from yourself. 

4 days of Christmas 2013

Christmas actually began early morning of December 23 at about five minutes after midnight that morning.  I picked up Axel and Jeremy at Jeremy's apartment, and they came here to stay the night.
Around 8:30 the following morning, Anne knocked on the door to their room telling them they should be awake to see if Santa had come to visit them. Within a few moments, they were in the kitchen where I was cooking breakfast of bacon and pancakes. Anne led them to the dining room which is where the Christmas tree is.  We had an early Christmas with them that morning.  By the time I was finished cooking breakfast, our grandson, Jonathan, had arrived to stay the day with us.
Since Jeremy had to be at work by two pm at the mall, Axel and I dropped him off there and went back to his apartment.  I kinda helped but mostly "supervised" as Axel cleaned the apt since Jeremy's mom was on her way here to take them home with her for Christmas in Midlands near Charlotte. Jonathan was here at home with Anne for the rest of the day.

Early Christmas Eve morning I was out of bed and busy in the kitchen beginning to prepare the Christmas Eve dinner to be held here that evening with our son Jon, and his children, Rose and Jonathan.  Anne's Aunt Doris would also be here for dinner.

At the appointed time Jon arrived with Rose and Jonathan with the car filled with gifts for everyone. Within a few minutes Doris had arrived with more food to add to our dinner and another car filled with more gifts. After the Christmas feast, we celebrated Christmas and watched the movie White Christmas.  For sure, Christmas Eve evening was as storybook success.

First thing Christmas morning, Anne and I were at Jon's house to see what Santa had brought the kids. Oddly enough this was the first time we had been with the grandkids on Christmas morning to inspect the loot from Santa and this was Rose's 17th Christmas.. Wow.. finally.. Santa was very good to the kids this year, as he always is.

By mid morning Anne, Doris and I were on our way to Charlotte to visit Anne's cousin, Dianne and her husband Mike. We were there for lunch during which time Mike's sister Barbara dropped by with a chocolate pie and pecan pie she had made for them. Later Dianne's brother, Rodney, came by for a visit

Around 5 pm we left Dianne's home to drive to Midlands to pick up Axel and Jeremy.  With the car filled with gifts and left over foods, the five of us were our way to McAdenville, NC also knows  as Christmastown.  The entire town is decorated for Christmas.  Unfortunately, after waiting for way too long on the side of the Interstate at the exit into McAdenville, we decided the wait would be too long and the Christmas lights would just have to wait.  We  dropped Axel and Jeremy off at Jeremy's around 9:30.  When Anne and I dropped Doris off at her house we stayed for a short visit then we went home.  Later I went back to Greenville to pick  up Axel, and he was here for Christmas night.

The following morning the three of us, Anne, Axel, and I began the tasks of undecorating our house from Christmas.  After lunch I took Axel back to Greenville.

This Christmas did not follow our traditonal schedule, but looking back it seems like a stroy book Christmas.  Everything was as perfect as possible.  This Christmas will be remembered as one of the
 best ones, thanks to the love of family and friends.

Christmas Fun.

In an earlier blog I confessed to being crazy and expounded on the merits thereof. Let me give you a few examples as they relate to Christmas.

One year I purchased a box of the cheapest Christmas cards I could find. They were small with  short general verse and an old time looking picture.  It was very obvious they were something an old person with a limited fixed income would buy.

I carefully wrote a brief but personal note inside each one to the recipient would know that I knew them well. Being right handed, I wrote with my left hand to create a shakey and unstable hand writing; and signed each card with love, Fred and Lillian.  No, I have no clue who Fred and Lillian are either. We carefully selected just the right people from our friends and family card list and allowed Fred and Lillian cards to go to each of them.  Of course we did not put any return address on the envelope nor did we use a last name to the signature.

Later when in the company of those lucky folks who had received Christmas greetings from Fred and Lillian we would discretely bring  up the subject of Christmas cards and sit quietly waiting for the subject of Fred and Lillian  to come up.  Without fail folks would tell of receiving the card from what must have been an old couple with no return address and only with an Upstate South Carolina postmark. We did receive one phone call from a friend out of state asking if we knew a Fred and Lillian from upstate SC.  Of course, we plead ignorance to knowing that lovely old man and his wife.  He finally concluded he must have gone to church with them sometimes in the past in North Carolina but just could not place who they are.

Another year Anne and I made the decision  to limit the amount we would spend on gifts to each other to $10. We could not spend more than $10 total for each other.  I went shopping at the Dixie Gem shop.  I purchases a 2 kt cubic zirconia stone cut to resemble a beautiful diamond and had it mounded on a sterling silver mount and placed on a chain borrowed from Anne's jewelry box. Total cost $10.00

A few days later, I received a phone call from a friend. In the course of the conversation he asked me what I was getting Anne for Christmas. I did not lie. I simply said a 2kt pendant. He did not ask what stone and I did not tell him.  For years he would always ask what I would be getting Anne for any special event, Christmas, Valentine day, or anything.  He would always buy the same thing for his wife except on a bigger scale.  If I bought my wife a purse, he would have to buy his wife a purse and shoes to match.

Nothing more was said until about six months later he mentioned that he had gotten his bank note paid off. He confessed he had borrowed $5000 to buy his wife a diamond pendant necklace.  He seemed a bit embarassed that he could not afford a 2kt ring like I had bought but said he did get a good deal on one just over 1kt for $5000.  From that time forward, he never ever asked me what I was buying Anne for any special event.  Of course, I never told him that I had only spent $10 and that he had bought a far more expensive gift.  Actually, it was none of his business.

This year Anne and I agreed to restrict our buying for each other to items we would find at either a thrift store or the Dollar Tree. It will be interesting to see what comes of that.

With less than a week remaining before Christmas, I will take this opportunity to wish all a very Merry Christmas.  Remember is is not the size or the value of a gift that is important.  What is important is that it reflect the gift of Christmas love. Perhaps the most valuable gift could be your time well spent with someone or a hug to someone who needs one or even a smile or a simple Christmas wish.

Christmas wish

It rained most of the day today. It was cold. Being outside today was miserable. Anyway, I had places to go and things to do so I had no choice but to brave the weather and just get it done.  A few  miles from home I realized I was not wearing my glasses.  The poor visibility of the weather paired with not having my glasses made drive a bit more interesting.  Lesson learned: Prescription sun glasses work well while driving in the rain. 

One of the places I had to go today was to check in on our family business, Studio A.  So far this month we are  operating a strong healthy loss.  December sales have fallen through the floor due to the holiday. 

Over the past week, four friends have complained of sore throat, coughs, etc.  Luckily Anne and I have not been zapped with any ailment yet. 

I received a text from someone needing assistance with their rent due to car repair bills and also stating that their church was assisting them with Christmas expenses for their children. Luckily, I was able to work out something for him.  

Also received an email from our son now living in China that he has been unsuccessfully trying to contact us. I responded via email and got a response that was not necessarily bad news but could have been much better. 

Out of the gloom and doom of this rainy Saturday, a bright light of joy and peace came to totally change the mood of the day in the best possible way.I had another email from a young man who is part of the acquired family of which I have spoken of in previous blogs.  His email was short, and directly to the point.  He lives about a thousand miles to the north of us and he is planning to visit his family for the holidays who lives about a thousand miles from us in the opposite direction. He simply used the magic of love. He sincerely expressed the love he has for his biological family as well as for me.  He went on to say that he would be seeking peace of mind and of heart and that he knows he will find it in the love of his family through the holidays.  What really was the turning point of my day was his wish for me and those whom I love to find the same peace now and forever. 

The best Christmas gifts are not always wrapped in pretty packages but are those that come from the heart through the wishes of friends and family whom we love and who love us  Sharing the love of Christmas is the greatest Christmas gift of all.   I am happy and well blessed because I am a wealthy man in that respect. 

Why?"

"Why am I here?"
"If there is a God, why did he put me here?"
"Why do I have do deal with all these bad things in my life?
"Is there a reason or a purpose?"
"How do I know what to do with my life?"

The car trip was short. I was to simply drop off someone at their point of destination and be on my way.  As we neared the end of our brief trip, my companion who had been rather quiet up until now began asking questions such as the ones here.  We are never prepared with an answer for someone else on these matters when we are not always sure that we have found the answers for ourselves. 

After stumbling around for some moments grasping for something intelligent to say, I realized that I was beginning to sound like a bumbling idiot, even to myself as a spouted out all the often used and never understood thoughts that could provide some sensible intelligent response that would sound good, even if it could not be understood. 

After a few moments, I realized that all I could do at the moment was to tell my own story and how I came to know my purpose for being here.  What gives me direction and meaning to the things I do which are not often understood by anyone else. 

I am almost sixty-seven years old, and it was not until someone more than forty years my junior asked me about his life, did I realize the answer for myself.  It had taken me sixty-seven years to find my answer and he wanted to know his answer now.  Impossible. So, I attempted to explain this to him.  In time, only when the time is right, will he find the answer. He must be patient and wait and keep looking, and when he needs to know, he will know, 

A few days later while watching The Sound of Music on television, Maria posed the same basic question to the Mother Superior at the abbey.  She answered it so aptly in song.

Climb every mountain,

Ford every stream,

Follow every rainbow,

Till you find your dream.

A dream that will need

All the love you can give, 

Every day of your life

For as long as you live.

Often after the opportunity has passed do we realize what we should have said or what we should have done in any given situation.  I know now that I should have put more emphasis that on while being patient and waiting for an answer to the question, one must dedicate themselves to the search because it is only in finding the answer that is right for yourself can you feel complete and useful as a human being here on earth. 

As to my personal "why", I will share this with you.  My life, my being here, was an accident.  My birth, even my conception was as unplanned as any person's could have been.  There could have been no purpose or no reason for me to be here.  I was simply an accident waiting to live out my life and die and be only a memory.  As he asked his question I remembered that early in my adult life I had concluded that I had been wrong.  I was no accident.  I was here for a purpose, and all I needed to do was to find that purpose. It has been only recently that I have realized that I had been living  my purpose all along. 

Early in life when I had believed myself to have been an accident or creation, and I my attitude had changed to cause me to believe there must be a purpose, I found that in order to prove my worthiness, to prove make my life worthy of living, to justify my being born, I must do whatever I could in order to help other people in whatever opportunity would present it
self.  If I am to be here, then it must be for a reason...a good reason. 

Along the way, throughout the years, I have encountered many people who needed what I had to give them, if only in words of encouragement or trying to present a positive attitude or trying to get someone to have faith in themselves as I had to do.  It was only when  my friend asked me his question did I realize this for myself. My need to reach out to others is a bit selfish in a way because I have that need to be needed.  Only by being needed can I justify living.  Truthfully, my friend, I need you as much as you need me....maybe more. 

It has been a few weeks since I wrote this blog, but at a church service tonight that featured a combination of blue grass music and "stained-glass" more classical music the following hymn brought me back here tonight.

Further Along
Tempted and tried, we oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long;
While there are others living about us,
Never molested, though in the wrong.

"Faithful til death," saith our loving Master;
Short is our time to labor and wait; 
Then will our toiling seem to be nothing,
When we shall pass the heavenly gate.

Soon we will see our dear, loving Savior,
Hear the last trumpet sound through the sky;
Then we will meet those gone on before us, 
Then we shall know and understand why.

(REFRAIN)  Further along we'll know more about it, 
Further along we'll understand why;
Cheer up,  my brothers, live in the sunshine. 
We'll understand it all by and by.

Axel

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We will be having a traditional Thanksgiving meal, but with a twist. It is also a birthday dinner for a special person.  The following is a letter to him for his birthday. 

Hey Axel,
So you are celebrating or should I say tolerating your 25th birthday now. You came into my life, kinda by accident in late August or early September of 2011.  It was not long until I realized you were a "keeper", a friend who would be around for a long long time and not just for a season and not just for a single reason.  You became family!

Life has not always been easy for you, having been born in Spain to Mexican parents and migrating to the United States from Mexico as a young child.  Your uphill climb began when you entered kindergarten unable to speak English with teachers that spoke no Spanish. The challenges kept coming, but Axel, you have always managed to find a way to successfully meet these challenges or to find a way to cope with them.  That makes you a winner.

You appear to be a fun loving care-free young man, but as one who has gotten to know you better, I see that you are a warm loving person who is very sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. You have an inner-strength which gives you the ability to face your own unique challenges. Beneath your outward display of confidence sometimes bordering on cockiness, you have a sincere humility which adds to your your inner beauty.  If I had to choose one word to best describe you, it would be 'Courage'. You are one of the most courageous men I have ever known.


We have spent thousands of hours together.  You have gone with Anne and me on road trips into four states, to movies, to restaurants, on shopping trips, you and I have shared thousands of hours of television and general conversation. We have worked together; we have laughed together; and we have even cried together. You and I have had our share of arguements and fights too. We know each other as well as anyone could.  Anne and I have met some of your family and you have shared many of your friends with us.  You is a real asset to us with Studio A as well as around the house.

Anne and I are blessed that you have made your home with us for almost two years. We respect you.  We admire you. We appreciate you.  We love you.  You are and have always been very sensitive and attentive to our needs here at home and on the road. You are, in every sense of the word, a gentleman, always assisting Anne both at home and on the road. Our relationship goes beyond mere friendship.  Anne has become your AnneMa.  I have become your Grandpa.  Even Anne's aunt Doris is often "Aunt Doris".  We are proud and happy that you are a part of our family.  Both your inner and outward beauty make you a blessing to everyone who really knows you.

We are really thankful to have you as a major part of our lives. May God bless and keep you on this birthday and throughout your life.

Love and Best Wishes,
Lynn (Gramps)

The Loss of Innocence, November 11

November 22nd fell on a Friday in 1963. Somehow I remembered it as being on a Thursday, but then it was 50 years ago and memory is not what it may have been at one time.  Anyway, the day of the week is not that important.

It was my first class after lunch, Mrs. Whitlow's American History Class.  By Georgia Law every eleventh grader in the state had to take American History. As I recall Mrs. Whitlow was a rather strict but fair teacher. She had a way of making history interesting as well as informative. That particular afternoon we were doing a study on Abraham Lincoln and just about to get into the details of his assassination when Eddie Hart, a student from another class opened the classroom door. I can recall he was wearing a brown and tan plaid shirt.  Strange that I thought it was Thursday, but I remember the shirt as well as his name and I could easily recognize him today if he has not changed his appearance in the past fifty years. 

I even remember his words, "Mrs. Whitlow, the President has been shot!"

"Eddie, that is nothing to joke about," she responded as she was about to start to lecture him on the seriousness of government in general before she realized he was not teasing.

"I am serious, he has been shot", he said.  

She went into the hall for a moment leaving her class in a state of shocking silence.  Within moments she returned and motioned for us to follow her.  The entire student body crowded into the "tv room" which was a large basement room that had once served as the cafeteria in the 1930s when the school was first constructed. We all watched the one television in silence as the newsmen relayed the story of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

My initial response was that of disbelief.  I kept waiting on them to announce that it was all a mistake and he was still in surgery and would recover.  It was only when they announced that his body was being removed from the hospital that the reality of the situation was felt. 

For the remainder of the day and into the evening and all day the next day we never left the television in the living room of the federal housing project apartment where I lived with my mom and her brother, my Uncle Guy.  By we, I refer to my mom, my cousin Terry, and my friend Garnett.  Terry, Garnett, and I actually talked of taking an overnight trip to Washington but again reality set in as we realized it would take money we did not have to make such a trip. 

On Sunday, I was with my Uncle Les and his son, my cousin Billy as we made the short ride from my mom's place to visit my cousin Charlene and her husband Ed and their son Ricky.  When we arrived at their house the news was giving the account and showing film of Jack Ruby's assassination of Lee Harvey Oswald.  I really wished I had seen that event on television.  I felt Uncle Les, Billy, and I were probably the only three Americans not to see it.

I recall vividly the details of the funeral the following day, the procession with the riderless horse, the body of the President in the flag draped coffin, the long procession of foreign diplomats and state leaders who followed behind the family as they took that long sorrowful walk.  I recall the salute given to his father as his body passed Little John John.  I was particularly impressed with the poise and dignity shown by the first lady.  She maintained her composure and completed her duties to perfection to earn the love and respect of a hurting nation and a grieving world.

Truthfully, I felt as if we had lost the person who was to bring our nation to a position never seen before in world politics.  I had complete confidence in Kennedy's leadership.  The establishment of the Peace Corps and the emphasis placed on the Space Race with the Russians were the two things I most remember.  As for civil rights, his heart was in the right place, but because of a lack of knowledge and understanding of the full situation, he was never able to make the progress he could have possibly made if he had lived to complete another term of office. His leadership in the Cold War and the Bay of Pigs Incident are most impressive.  

Looking back a few years to the 1960 election, it was the first Presidential election I could remember. I had written to the Democratic headquarters and secured bumper stickers and campaign buttons.  I displayed the bumper stickers proudly on both the front and rear of  my mom's 1953 Mercury. While her political views were in total harmony with mine, she was a little hesitant to display the campaign material on her car.  Afterall, it was the conservative south and we were pushing for the election of a liberal Democrat President.  She was not ashamed of her conviction nor her liberal beliefs but for her safety.  There was some deep hatred of Kennedy in the south, much of it from him being Catholic and we had never had a Catholic President before in our history.  Hatred is must often associated with ignorance and misinformation.  A grandmother of one of my friends voted against Kennedy because she was told that a Catholic President would force us to destroy our Bibles.  She, her grandson, my mom, and I watched the election results and discussed the politics at play.  By the  end of the evening she was happy that Kennedy had won, though I think she still had her doubts. 

A couple of days ago I was talking with a friend from Florida who relayed an interesting observation made by his mom who is near my age.  She had told him that the assassination of President Kennedy was the beginning of a change in American History.  Up until that time, the US was growing and progressing in basically every possible way, but since that day, we have seen things progressively get worse, year by year.  In her words, "we lost our innocence" which is leading to our decline.  I have had the chance to run this idea past a few folks today, and everyone I have spoken to has completely agreed. 

The integrity and character of a nation are no more than the total integrity and character of the individuals who make up that nation.  It is just that simple. President Kennedy said it best, "Ask not what my country can do for me, but ask what I can do for my country".  It is only when each one of us answers that question and accepts that challenge will this nation be back on track to becoming what it could and should become.  It is not only the responsibility of our leaders but that of each of us as well.